It's been a while, but I'm back. Thanks for your patience. A lot of things have happened since I last posted.
DH has finally moved out, which was, to say the least, very traumatic. But it's done now and for the moment I can begin to heal. Although I never wanted him to move out, I wanted him to (sounds contradictory I know) because it was getting to the point where I would physically hurt every time I clapped eyes on him. I was stuck in limbo - I could neither move on or get some sort of closure. Him still being here also sent out huge mixed messages - "Sorry dear, I don't love you anymore, but despite making a few attempts to find a place of my own, I'm going to stay here and act like nothing's happened." It was very draining and it also started affecting my health and sanity, so something had to give. A fortnight ago on Wednesday, he moved in temporarily with his best friend.
It's been tough trying to adjust. It's almost like learning to walk again - it's a new routine, a new way of doing things. To say it was strange is an understatement, but, I'm slowly beginnning to come to terms with it. It doesn't stop me missing him like crazy - I still love him - and it's weird to find him not there in the morning, but right now there's nothing I can do about it, other than just get on with life and enjoy it the best I can. Fudge is being really clingy at the moment - I think he can sense that I'm still sad and upset, but also I know that he misses DH too. Fudge has started sleeping at the foot of the bed - this morning he was doing his impression of a furry six-pointed star, on his back purring and snorring at the same time!
I've started going to counselling and that has been a huge help. It's liberating to be able to sound off at someone who's totally neutral, who doesn't know your family and the baggage they carry around. My counsellor (Lizzie) is really great. Still, I'm worried about Husband, as I don't think he's properly talked to anybody about how he's doing or feeling. It's hard to guage, as nearly all my friends are mutual friends of his as well, so I don't know whether they're not telling me if he's talked to them because they think it might hurt my feelings or whether he's just not said anything. Hopefully I'll find out soon. If he doesn't face up to what's happened and try to mask how he's feeling by staying out every night or going to friends houses every night, not having total space and time on his own to reflect, it'll catch up with him sooner all later - and he'll crash and burn.
Meanwhile, to change the subject, I've started a new project, which I'm loving at the moment because it's so easy to stitch - I will take some photos over the weekend and post them so you can see. I'll leave you with piccies of Misty and Fudge.....
Here's Fudge hogging the bed.....
...and one of him ignorning me completely!.........
...and Misty being totally cute...awwww
Thanks for listening and thanks to you, my wonderful stitching friends, for making my blog worthwhile and for being brilliant. Take care xxxxxxx